Understanding and Coping with Depersonalization

Imagine waking up one day and feeling like you're watching your life from outside your body. Conversations feel distant, like you're hearing them through a wall and your vision may seem “grainy” or distorted. You look in the mirror and struggle to recognize yourself. You may be talking to someone and hear someone talking, but it doesn’t feel like it’s “you” that speaking. This surreal, disorienting state is known as depersonalization—a dissociative experience that can be unsettling and, at times, terrifying.

While it’s often underrecognized by the mental health community, many people experience depersonalization at some point in their lives, whether briefly during times of extreme stress or as a chronic condition. In this post, we'll explore a few different ways depersonalization can show up, and then discuss practical tools for coping with it.

Different Experiences of Depersonalization

1. The Detached Self

Some describe feeling as though they are a spectator to their own life. One person shared: "I could see myself walking, talking, even laughing, but it all felt robotic—It felt like I was a character in a video game or a movie" This form of detachment often arises during periods of intense anxiety or emotional overwhelm, as if the mind is trying to shield itself by stepping away from reality.

2. Emotional Numbing

Others experience emotional flatness, where even major life events—good or bad—fail to provoke a real emotional response. "I knew I should have felt happy at my graduation, but it was like the joy couldn’t reach me. Everything was muted." This can be particularly distressing for those who once felt deeply connected to their emotions and relationships.

3. Distorted Sense of Self or Time

For some, depersonalization includes confusion about identity or a warped perception of time. "I didn’t recognize the person in the photos from just last year—it was like looking at a stranger’s life." Time can seem to drag or speed up, making it hard to anchor yourself in the present moment.

4. Sensory Disconnection

Another common experience is feeling as though the world isn’t real—often called derealization, which often accompanies depersonalization. "It was like I was living in a dream or behind glass. I felt like my hands weren’t “my hands” and like my body was made out of air." It can be especially distressing to have these sensations while out in public or with others, and often sufferers feel like they just have to pretend like everything's ok, while it feels like their reality is dissolving around them.

Coping With Depersonalization

If you're struggling with depersonalization, know that you’re not alone—and it can get better. Here are some strategies that have helped others:

1. Grounding Techniques

Try to reconnect with your body and surroundings. Focus on physical sensations:

• Hold ice cubes in your hands

• Describe five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear

• Walk barefoot and pay attention to the feeling of the ground beneath your feet

These techniques help anchor you in the present moment.

2. Reduce Anxiety

Since anxiety often triggers or worsens depersonalization, managing it is crucial. Breathing exercises, meditation, or practices like yoga can calm your nervous system. Professional therapy—especially CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)—can help address the underlying causes of both anxiety and dissociation.

3. Limit Substance Use

Caffeine, alcohol, and recreational drugs can all exacerbate dissociative symptoms. Many people report that reducing or eliminating these substances leads to noticeable improvement.

4. Routine and Self-Care

Having a daily structure and engaging in regular self-care (even simple things like showering, eating balanced meals, and getting enough sleep) can help create a sense of normalcy and control.

5. Seek Support

Talking to a mental health professional can make a significant difference. You might also find comfort in online forums or support groups where others share similar experiences.

Depersonalization can feel like you’re losing your grip on reality, but it’s more common—and more manageable—than many people realize. While the path to feeling “normal” again may take time, healing is possible. Understanding your experience and taking steps to ground yourself, manage anxiety, and seek support are crucial parts of the journey.

If you or someone you know is struggling with these symptoms, reaching out for help is not just okay—it’s essential. We are committed to helping people recover from the negative impacts of depersonalization and to feel more confident when these symptoms show up. We understand that dissociative symptoms like depersonalization feel like they are the problem, but really they are part of the solution.