5 Signs of Childhood Trauma in Adulthood

Some wounds from childhood are obvious, while others are harder to see. Trauma isn't just held in memories—it can shape the way we think, feel, and move through the world, often in ways we don’t fully recognize. We don't even need to have direct memory to have experienced childhood trauma. So much of how we do our lives as adults is because of how we were taught to do life, and relationships, when we were young. If certain patterns in your life feel familiar but confusing, it may be worth exploring whether past experiences are still echoing into the present.

Everyone's experiences are different, but here are five common signs of childhood trauma in adulthood and what healing can look like.

1. You Struggle to Trust, Even When You Want To

   
   

If caregivers or early relationships were inconsistent, distant, or harmful, trusting others as an adult might feel like walking a tightrope. Maybe you crave connection but keep people at a distance. Or maybe you overextend yourself in relationships, trying to earn love rather than simply receive it - some might call this people pleasing.

What signs of this might look like:

• Feeling like you're "always waiting for the other shoe to drop" in relationships

• Feeling like you have to handle everything alone - you're hyper independent or it feels like you have to be

• Pulling away from relationships when it starts to feel vulnerable or "too real"

Learning to trust again isn't an overnight process. It takes time to unlearn the distrust that might have been instilled within you and truly believe that connection is safe.

2. You Are Constantly On Edge or Feel Overwhelmed

Most people think of trauma solely living in the mind or in memory, but it also lives in the body. If your nervous system was shaped by significant stress or unpredictability early on in your life, your body may have learned to stay in "high alert" mode - leaving you feeling tense, restless, or easily overwhelmed.

Signs of a dysregulated nervous system:

• Struggling to relax, even when things are "fine"

• Overanalyzing conversations and interactions with others, looking for "hidden meaning"

• Feeling easily startled, irritated, or exhausted by everyday stressors

Too often this all gets chalked up to "just anxiety." It isn't. It's the body's way of saying, "I never got the chance to feel safe." Bottom-up or body-based therapies like Brainspotting can be extremely effective for processing and releasing trauma that's been stored in the nervous system for years.

3. You Have a Harsh Inner Critic

   
   

The way we were spoken to as children often becomes the way we speak to ourselves. If your early years were critical, dismissive, or emotionally unavailable, you might have developed an internal voice that is constantly judging, doubting, or minimizing your worth.

What you might notice:

• Struggling with perfectionism or fear of failure

• Feeling unworthy of love, success, or rest

• Constantly apologizing - even when you haven't done anything wrong

The reality is that you weren't born believing that you are "too much" or "not enough." Those are learned beliefs - and what is learned can also be unlearned with care, intention and the right support.

4. You Feel Disconnected from Your Emotions

   
   

Some people feel an overwhelming amount, while others feel nothing at all. Feeling numbness is a defense mechanism—one that often develop in response to overwhelming experiences. If feeling became too painful in childhood, your brain may have learned to shut emotions down as a survival strategy. Over time, our brains get really good at defending us and in time those defense mechanisms can overtake us.

Signs of emotional disconnection:

• Struggling to name your feelings or feeling "blank"

• Struggling with memory, or feeling distant from your experiences

• Using distractions to avoid emotions - intentionally or unintentionally (substances, electronics, work, etc.)

Healing isn’t about forcing yourself to feel—it’s about rebuilding (or building for the first time) a trust within yourself that feels safe. "Bottom-up" therapies, like Brainspotting, can all help reconnect with emotions in a gentle, supportive way.

5. Setting Boundaries Feels Impossible

If your needs weren't respected or even healthily met as a child, it might feel unnatural - or even wrong - to advocate for them now. People-pleasing, overcommitting, and struggling to say “no” are all common patterns for those who grew up in environments where boundaries weren’t modeled or honored.

You might experience:

• Saying "yes" out of guilt, and then feeling resentful

• Feeling responsible for other people's emotions

• Fear of disappointing or upsetting others

Your needs matter. Boundaries aren’t about shutting people out—they’re about creating space for the relationships that truly support and honor you. Our boundaries help teach others how we need to be loved.

At Woven Wholeness, we specialize in helping adults process and heal from childhood trauma. Through traditional, regularly scheduled therapy and therapy intensives, we create the space for deep, focused healing. This journey isn't about "fixing" yourself, it's about coming home to the wholeness that was always yours.