Beyond the Holiday Cheer: When Holiday Stress Triggers Trauma

The holidays arrive with a script we all know too well — smiling families, twinkling lights, cozy gatherings, and an endless stream of joy and connection. But for many people, especially those healing from trauma, the holiday season doesn’t feel like a celebration.

It feels like survival.

The crowded stores, bright lights, family tension, disrupted routines, and constant pressure to be happy can make this time of year overwhelming. For those with a history of trauma, these stressors don’t just create discomfort — they can trigger deep emotional and physiological reactions that feel impossible to control.

At Woven Wholeness, we recognize what this time of year can bring about for the people that we work with. The trauma responses come out - you're the doer or the fixer, maybe masking how on edge you feel with half-faked smiles. Maybe you're the dish cleaner or the keeper of the kids to minimize interactions that will leave you feeling worse. Maybe you plan everything because it doesn't feel like you have another choice. However your trauma responses are showing up this holiday season, we see you.

Why the Holidays Can Reactivate Old Trauma

For trauma survivors, the body remembers. Trauma doesn’t live just as a story in your mind — it’s stored in the body and nervous system. When you’ve experienced something that felt unsafe, your brain’s alarm system becomes wired to detect danger. During the holidays, all those familiar stressors — noise, chaos, pressure, and expectations — can set that alarm off.

Here are a few common ways the holidays can push an already-sensitive nervous system into survival mode:

1. Sensory Overload

Bright lights, crowded stores, loud parties, and constant background noise can flood the nervous system. When the body is already primed for hypervigilance, even small sensory triggers can lead to anxiety, irritability, or panic.

2. The Pressure to “Be Happy”

Cultural messages tell us we should feel joyful and grateful this time of year. But forcing cheerfulness often creates shame or guilt for those who don’t feel that way. For trauma survivors, the demand to perform happiness can reactivate old feelings of helplessness or not being “enough.”

3. Disrupted Routines and Safety

Routines create stability and predictability — both of which are essential for a regulated nervous system. The constant travel, lack of sleep, and schedule changes that come with the holidays can make it harder to feel grounded and safe.

4. Grief and Unmet Needs

The holidays are supposed to be about connection, but they also magnify what’s missing — a loved one, a sense of belonging, or the safety we never had as children. Grief and loneliness can rise to the surface, often disguised as exhaustion or irritability.

A Deeper Way to Heal Holiday Trauma Triggers

When holiday stress activates trauma, traditional talk therapy often falls short because the part of the brain that holds trauma isn’t verbal. It lives in the limbic system — the emotional and survival center — where words can’t always reach.

That’s where Brainspotting comes in.

Brainspotting is a powerful, body-based therapy that helps you access and process the root of emotional pain — the place where your nervous system first got stuck. It’s a “bottom-up” approach, meaning it works directly with the body and brainstem before engaging the thinking mind.

Here’s how it works:

Step 1: Finding the Spot

With the support of a trained Brainspotting therapist, you identify an eye position that’s connected to where the trauma or stress is held in your brain. Subtle body cues — like a shift in breathing, a twitch, or an emotional surge — signal where the “brainspot” is.

Step 2: Focused Processing

While holding your gaze on that point, you simply notice what arises in your body and emotions. The therapist may use bilateral sound (gentle tones alternating between the left and right ears) to support the brain’s natural processing. There’s no need to rehash details or force insight — the body does the work.

Step 3: Core Release and Integration

By accessing the subcortical brain (where trauma lives), Brainspotting helps the nervous system release stored activation. Over time, the emotional “charge” connected to old memories begins to fade, leaving space for calm, clarity, and regulation.

Clients often describe it as finally being able to breathe again — like the body lets go of something it’s been carrying for years.

What Makes Brainspotting Different During the Holidays

The beauty of Brainspotting is that it works gently with the body’s own rhythm. There’s no pressure to perform or explain. That makes it especially effective during seasons of stress, when words are hard to find and the nervous system is already taxed.

Here’s what many clients experience after Brainspotting sessions during the holiday season:

• Reduced reactivity: The same triggers don’t feel as overwhelming.

• Increased self-awareness: You notice early signs of stress before it spirals.

• Greater emotional flexibility: It’s easier to recover from difficult moments.

• A stronger sense of self: You can stay connected to your values, even amid chaos.

This kind of work doesn’t just help you “get through” the holidays — it helps you begin to rewrite how your body experiences safety and connection all year long.

Your Guide to a More Grounded Holiday

You deserve a holiday season that feels peaceful, manageable, and authentic — one where you can connect on your own terms instead of pushing through exhaustion or fear.

If every holiday season feels like a crisis or leaves you emotionally drained, that’s a sign that your nervous system is asking for deeper healing. Trauma-focused modalities like Brainspotting can help resolve the root cause of distress, not just manage the symptoms.

Here are a few grounding tips you can start with now:

• Set realistic expectations. You don’t have to say yes to everything or everyone.

• Create sensory balance. Take breaks from noise, light, or crowds when you need to.

• Honor your needs. Whether that means solitude, quiet rituals, or connecting only with people who feel safe — your needs matter.

• Breathe intentionally. Slow, deep breathing signals safety to the nervous system.

• Seek support. Healing doesn’t have to wait until January.

  
  

At Woven Wholeness, we’re accepting new clients through the holiday season and would be honored to support you with trauma-responsive care — including Brainspotting and other somatic approaches.

Healing doesn’t mean pretending the holidays are perfect. It means having a grounded sense of self to fall back on when the chaos comes. This year, give yourself permission to prioritize peace — it might just be the greatest gift of all.