Why Grounding Techniques Might Not Work at First—And What to Try Instead

If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, panic attacks, dissociation, or trauma, chances are someone has suggested grounding techniques. “Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method,” they might say. “Put your feet on the floor, take a breath, name five things you can see.”

But what if those grounding techniques are not working?

Many clients come into therapy feeling frustrated—or even defeated—because grounding exercises didn’t calm them down the way they were “supposed to.” Let me say this clearly: that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong, and it definitely doesn’t mean you’re broken.

Grounding is a tool, not a magic switch. And like any tool, it works best when you understand how and when to use it. If grounding hasn’t helped you feel more present or safe, you're not alone—and there are good reasons why it might not be working yet.

Why Grounding Techniques Might Not Work (At First)

1. You’re New to Grounding

If your nervous system is in a full fight-or-flight response—or you're stuck in freeze mode—grounding takes practice. Your body is doing what it believes it needs to do to survive. I often compare grounding to lifting weights: you can’t expect to lift 300 pounds your first time in the gym. Over time, with the right practice and consistency, it becomes easier to access these tools when you need them.

2. You Don’t Feel Safe in Your Body

For trauma survivors, grounding can feel counterintuitive. Your body might not feel like a safe place. “Coming back into the body” sounds nice in theory, but in practice, it can be overwhelming or triggering. If this is your experience, you're not alone—and it's okay to work slowly and gently with this step.

3. The Technique Doesn’t Fit You

Not all grounding methods work for everyone. Some people benefit from sensory grounding (like holding a textured object or smelling peppermint), while others need movement, sound, or even something like cold water to jolt their system back into the present. If one method isn’t helping, it doesn’t mean grounding doesn’t work—it just means you haven’t found the right fit yet.

4. You’re Expecting It to “Fix” Something

Grounding isn’t meant to erase panic, stop flashbacks, or eliminate all big feelings. Its purpose is to help you reconnect to the here and now—to feel a bit more regulated so you can weather those waves of emotion with more stability. If you're expecting it to stop everything, it may feel like it’s failing when it's actually working subtly in the background.

5. You Don’t Believe It Can Help

If you go into grounding already convinced it’s pointless, your brain is likely to check out. That mindset can make it harder to notice the small but meaningful shifts that grounding can bring over time.

What to Try If Grounding Isn't Working

If traditional grounding methods aren’t effective for you, here are some therapist-recommended alternatives and modifications that may help:

1. Start With Movement

When your body is flooded with stress hormones, sometimes movement is the first step toward regulation. Try pacing, stomping, stretching, or shaking out your limbs. Movement can help release pent-up energy and remind your nervous system that you’re in control.

2. Use External Anchors

If turning inward feels unsafe, start by engaging with your environment. Hold something cold or textured. Listen to music with a strong rhythm. Run your hands under warm water. These external anchors can begin to reorient you gently and safely.

3. Practice Regularly

Grounding works best when practiced before moments of crisis. By building the habit during calm or neutral moments, your brain and body are better prepared to access those techniques when you're activated.

4. Try “Micro-Grounding”

Start small. Instead of trying a whole technique, just notice one thing: the feel of your shirt, the sound of a fan, the inhale and exhale of your breath. These micro-moments of presence can open a window of tolerance and make the next step easier.

5. Shift the Goal to Safety

Instead of focusing on “calming down,” ask: What would help me feel safer right now? That might mean swaddling in a blanket, calling a trusted person, or simply drinking something warm. Safety—not calm—is the foundation that allows your system to relax.

Grounding and the Nervous System: Why It’s Complicated

Grounding is deeply connected to the state of your nervous system. If you’ve experienced complex or developmental trauma, your body may spend more time in a dysregulated state—outside your “window of tolerance.” This window is the range where you can manage emotions without becoming overwhelmed or shutting down.

When you're outside of this window, your body may be in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. In these states, grounding can feel like too much—or not enough. Understanding your window of tolerance, as well as concepts like polyvagal theory, can help you tailor your healing tools.

Polyvagal theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, explains how the vagus nerve affects your sense of safety, connection, and regulation. When you’re grounded and safe, your body is in the ventral vagal state—where connection and calm are possible. When you're in a sympathetic (fight/flight) or dorsal vagal (freeze/shut down) state, grounding may not "click" right away.

If grounding hasn’t worked for you yet, don’t give up on it entirely—but also don’t be afraid to get creative. Healing isn’t one-size-fits-all, and your nervous system isn’t a machine with one button that fixes everything. Be gentle. Be curious. You’re allowed to find what actually works for you.